


city lights

by euphorian



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Just Dudes Being Dudes, M/M, New York City, jisol!!!, one mention of drug use but it's small, other members are tagged but they're hardly in it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-02 14:18:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20277280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/euphorian/pseuds/euphorian
Summary: Joshua thinks running away from his feelings will work forever. Unexpectedly, New York gives him a wake-up call.





	city lights

**Author's Note:**

  * For [loveshua](https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveshua/gifts).

Joshua throws himself onto one of the beds in his hotel room and closes his eyes, exhaustion slowly taking over his body. The flight from Korea to New York was long, and all the boy wants to do now is get some rest. Soonyoung mentioned to him on the way to the hotel that he and some of the members would be walking around New York after unpacking their luggage, but Joshua declined, exhaustion canceling out his want to see the beautiful city at night. There’s already an interview scheduled for tomorrow at noon, so if Joshua is lucky, he could snooze from now until 10 in the morning, which would give him a total of 11 hours of sleep.

Luck, obviously, is not on Joshua’s side today. Hansol, who Joshua is rooming with this time around, shakes the older out of his (almost) slumber and softly says, “I’m not sure if you knew this already, but some of the guys and I are going out for a bit to just walk around the city. You don’t have to come—I mean—I want you to, but you don’t have to, so…...”

To say Joshua is exhausted is an understatement. They’ve been working nonstop because of the tour, and the thought of getting more than five hours of sleep for once almost brings him to tears. He would really love to fall into the deepest slumber of his life, but he feels Hansol standing in front of him, waiting, and he realizes that this is, quite literally, the boy’s _ home_. It’s a special place for him, and he specifically said he wants Joshua to come along, and because Joshua has the smallest soft spot for the younger (the smallest), he rubs his eyes and sits up. 

Hansol runs a hand through his hair and shrugs, “If you just want to sleep, that’s cool too, I’ll just tell them—“

“No,” Joshua quickly interrupts as he grabs his jacket. “I’m coming.”

They head down to the lobby to find Seungcheol, Junhui, Soonyoung, Minghao, Mingyu, Seokmin, and Chan waiting. 

“Yo man!” Soonyoung says to Hansol in his heavily accented English. “This is New York!” 

Hansol giggles, _giggles, _ and Joshua can feel his own heart growing ten times bigger before he says “Yeah bro, let’s go!”

Soonyoung turns to Joshua and fist bumps him before asking, “I see you’ve changed your mind. Why so?”

Joshua looks over at Hansol, who seems to already be immersed in a conversation with Chan, and smiles. “I guess Hansol is just very convincing.”

Seungcheol calls everyone over and organizes where everyone will go, sorting the boys into three groups. “Soonyoung, Seokmin, and Chan will be one group, Minghao, Mingyu, and Joshua will be another, and that leaves Junhui, Hansol, and I as the last group. Sound good?”

The boys nod their heads and hum in agreement, seeming okay with their assigned groups. It didn’t matter to Joshua who he’d be with, but something like disappointment wavers in his mind.

His mixed emotions don’t last for too long because Hansol speaks up. “Actually, can Joshua and I be a pair?”

“Minghao and Mingyu will need an English-speaking member to help them navigate, won’t they?” Seungcheol asks, raising his eyebrows.

Hansol opens his mouth to respond but Mingyu beats him to it, “We’re okay! I am very good at English!”

He says the last bit in the said language, which seems to convince Seungcheol, who then agrees to the switch and reads off the new groups—well, pairs except for one.

“Be back at this exact spot by 2. We all have two and a half hours to explore, eat, whatever. Be safe, and remember—no pictures with fans! No matter how bad you feel!” Seungcheol directs the last command at Soonyoung, who throws his hands up in defense and says he won’t, even though they all know he probably will.

The boys are finally satisfied, though, so they say goodbye to each other and start to go their separate ways. 

Minghao pats Joshua on the back as he walks by him, whispering a “Good luck, hyung” and grinning while walking away, leaving Joshua confused. What did he need luck with?

He then looks at Hansol and thinks, _ Oh. _

Everyone goes fairly quickly, but Joshua and Hansol take their time. Joshua has no preference as to where he wants to go. In fact, he’ll be fine with wherever Hansol takes him, so Joshua waits for him to speak up as they walk towards the hotel exit.

A minute or two passes, and Joshua is sort of impatient, so he turns to his friend and asks, “So where are we going?”

Hansol looks up from his phone and forms an ‘o’ shape with his mouth. “I was actually waiting for you to say something.”

Joshua pauses, then laughs. He should’ve known the younger would leave it up to him to decide where to go. However, he has absolutely no clue what cool places are around, so he shakes his head. “Nah, dude. You can choose.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

So Hansol chooses. The first place they go to is a fancy restaurant, and Joshua is thankful because his stomach has been practically screaming at him for the past hour, and he feels like if he doesn’t eat soon he’ll pass out on the streets of New York City, which obviously, wouldn’t look too good for the group.

They order their food then sit in silence. It’s not awkward at all, though to others it may look that way. In fact, nothing has ever really been awkward between Joshua and Hansol. From the moment they met inside the Pledis training room, they got along extremely well. It was obvious to the rest of the boys that they would, seeing as they both spoke fluent English and all, but Joshua likes to think it was more than that. He likes to think that they just naturally click, and that their friendship is truly inimitable.

Joshua looks across the table at Hansol, and decides that yeah, it is.

“You know, it’s our third time here, but I don’t think I could ever get used to how amazing this city is,” Joshua says before sipping his wine.

Hansol hums and sets his phone down. “Yeah, me neither. I wish I could’ve spent more time here before moving to Korea. There are so many places to go, sights to see…..” 

He sounds a little sad, and Joshua doesn’t want him to, so he offers, “Well, we have tonight, don’t we?”

The brunette smiles at Joshua, making him die a little on the inside, and nods. It’s something about the way Hansol’s eyes shine with a glint of excitement that fills Joshua’s stomach with butterflies, but it’s such a simple moment that the older internally laughs at himself for swooning over it.

Hansol has this _effect _on him. Joshua realized this long ago, but he’s yet to really accept it. Who is he to have romantic feelings for someone who strictly sees him as a friend? 

It’s actually not that ridiculous of a concept. Joshua knows that, but with Hansol it’s….different. He feels like he just can’t like him like that, especially after knowing each other for so long. 

_ What am I? A middle schooler? _ Joshua thinks to himself. He feels pathetic, fantasizing about one of his best friends when he’s right across from him. Joshua looks at said boy, then realizes he has the whole night—well, two hours—to just have a good time alone with him for the first time in forever, so he better make the most of it.

“Do you know any famous people who were born here?” Joshua asks Hansol as they walk around, trying to find an ice cream shop. It’s 12:30, it’s loud, and this is New York, so there are still tons of people roaming through the streets. Joshua spots a guy a few feet ahead of them playing a song on the guitar that he can distinctly recognize as they get closer, and he pulls out a few dollar bills to drop into his guitar case.

They make their way past the guy, Joshua’s question long forgotten when Hansol says, “That dude reminds me of you.”

Joshua shoots him a confused look before bumping into a person by accident. He apologizes, then, “Is it the guitar? Because otherwise, he’s white and I’m Korean. Not many similarities there. Unless you’re calling me _ white_?”

“Shut up,” Hansol says, laughing at Joshua’s appalled face. “You used to play for people in LA, right? That’s why.”

The older freezes for a second. He breaks into a smile, “You remember that? I told you about it ages ago.”

“Of course I remember things you tell me, Joshua. Don’t look so surprised! It’s hurting my feelings,” Hansol responds with a pout. Joshua playfully hits him, causing it to turn into smirk instead.

Joshua takes the quickest second to notice that Hansol’s face is illuminated by the multiple big screens around them, and he looks prettier than anyone Joshua has ever seen in his entire life. Cliché, he knows, but it’s true.

It’s funny, really. Joshua is very upfront with his emotions, never holding back when upset with someone. The emotions he feels when he looks at Hansol are different, though. He’s never angry or irritated because of the boy. Instead, he’s always filled with warmth and admiration upon just seeing his face.

_ “Why don’t you ever get mad at Hansol?” _ Jeonghan asked once when Hansol tripped and accidentally spilled orange juice all over Joshua. _ “If I had done what he just did, you’d take revenge. Instead, you apologized for being in his way. What’s up with that?” _

Joshua, who was drying his newly-washed hair, just laughed. He threw the towel he was using at Jeonghan, slapped him on the shoulder, and went back into the living room without answering.

Another time, when Hansol sat on and broke Joshua’s brand-new glasses, and Joshua brushed it off and told the younger that he could just get new ones, Jeonghan brought up his question again.

Instead of ignoring him, Joshua had an answer that time. _ “I just can’t get mad at him. Something about Hansol always has me….” _

_ “Weak?” _

_ “Yeah,” _ Joshua had replied without thinking. _ “—wait. No! Not…” _

Jeonghan raised his eyebrows, waited for a response that he knew Joshua couldn’t give, then left the room, smirk apparent on his face.

So maybe it was true. Maybe it still is. Hansol has Joshua absolutely weak for him without even trying.

How cheesy. Joshua is _ so _ pathetic.

They finally find and enter a place that sells ice cream when Hansol snaps Joshua out of his thoughts and says, “Me, by the way.”

“Hm?”

“I’m a famous person who was born in New York.”

Joshua realizes what Hansol is talking about, then hits him yet again. “You’re something else.” 

“But you love me,” Hansol smugly replies before turning to the worker to order his ice cream.

_ Yeah_, Joshua thinks. _ I do. _

It’s a little after one in the morning when Joshua and Hansol settle at a surprisingly quiet park. They sit on a bench and eat their ice cream in another comfortable silence, with the only sounds surrounding them being the usual, upbeat city life not too far away.

“I miss being able to relax like this often,” Hansol says, eyes trained on a plane zooming across the sky.

Joshua sighs and takes a bite of his cone. “Same, dude.”

It’s true, they don’t get much time to rest—ever, considering they’re the backbone of their company. If they do get breaks, they’re less than a week long until they have to start preparing for another comeback or practice for a special performance. That’s why Joshua enjoys the small amount of time they get to chill during their tour stops. It may be short, but it’s worth a lot to not only Joshua, but the rest of the group as well. No matter how many or which members he’s with, Joshua always manages to have a sort of “healing” time with them. Tonight seems to comfort him even more, and he knows exactly why that is.

Joshua studies Hansol, who’s still looking up at the sky despite the plane being long gone. There are bags under his eyes, his hair is a little messy, and there’s some ice cream on the side of his lips, but somehow, he still looks so _ good _. It’s a known fact that Hansol is one of the best-looking idols in the industry, yet Joshua still hasn’t been able to take in the sight of him. Maybe he’s exaggerating just slightly, but Joshua thinks that no piece of art in any museum could compare to Hansol. 

Or he’s just whipped, but there’s no way Joshua would ever admit that.

“I’m um.....sorry if I kind of dragged you out of the hotel. I know you’re tired and all,” Hansol mumbles, looking at Joshua now.

Joshua smiles and shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it bro, I wanted to come. You didn’t “drag” me out. 

This doesn’t seem to convince Hansol, so he keeps going, “I’m also sorry if me forcing you to pair up with me was weird, or something like that. Uh….”

At this point, Joshua can practically _ feel _his heart breaking at Hansol’s words. The fact that he thinks he forced Joshua into tagging along with him has the older not knowing whether he should laugh at him for being silly, or curl up into a ball and cry for making him feel that way.

The only reason why he got up from his bed and out of the hotel room is because of Hansol. If it were anyone else who asked, he would have shut them down immediately. Joshua cherishes every single moment he gets to spend alone with Hansol, so why would he ever feel _ forced _ to be with him?

Joshua wants Hansol to know all of this, but he’s an idiot, so he doesn’t tell him. Instead, he says, “You didn’t force me dude, it’s fine.”

Hansol licks his lips and nods. “Okay then.”

It’s quiet again. For once, Joshua doesn’t like it, which is why he browses his mind to find something to talk about. 

However, Hansol beats him to it. “I had a lot of fun tonight. With you, I mean.”

Such a simple phrase shouldn’t make Joshua blush so hard, but it does, and he suddenly wants the ground to swallow him up whole. He’s thankful that it’s dark outside, so Hansol can’t see how red his face is getting right now. God, why is he such a loser?

Joshua attempts to recollect himself. He realizes that it’s getting a little colder, so his hands have instinctively made their way inside his jacket. He counts the stripes on his left sleeve, then the right. _ Hansol is probably the most patient person in the world,_ Joshua thinks, seeing as it’s likely been more than a minute without a response from the older.

“Me too,” Joshua finally replies, voice slightly cracking. 

“We don’t really hang out much when we’re back in Korea. That’s why I wanted to be partnered with you so badly today. It was kinda the perfect opportunity,” Hansol admits, scratching the back of his neck.

Joshua, again, feels like a pile of dirt. He _ wants _ to hang out with Hansol more, _ wants _ to spend time with him as much as possible. He’s always wanted that, but he never knew Hansol felt the same way.

“I always want to hang out with you, you know,” Joshua mutters.

Hansol chuckles. “How am I supposed to know if you never mention it?”

And he’s right. There have been several times when Joshua would want to go out with Hansol for a midnight snack at the nearby convenience store, or he’d be in the mood to smoke with him in his room and blast vibe-y music, but he never asked. Not once. Hansol would have said yes, but Joshua never asked. He doesn’t even have a reason why, either. He’s just….an idiot.

“Okay, true,” Joshua says, laughing. He holds his hand out. “I’m sorry. When we go back, I’ll actually tell you whenever I want to chill with you. Cool?”

Hansol shakes his hand and grins. “Cool.”

The pair end up back in Times Square after a while. They don’t have a destination, really, but Hansol pointed out that they had to be back at the hotel soon, so if they were going to go anywhere else, they had to make it quick.

Joshua sees a souvenir shop and tells Hansol to follow him, suddenly having a great idea in mind. It’s small, but filled with plenty of different items to choose from, and Joshua’s eyes land on something in particular. He waits until Hansol goes to the other side of the store to take a look at it, and when he does, it’s exactly what he was looking for.

He’s walking around some more just in case he finds anything else that interests him when his phone vibrates, indicating he got a text.

**from: hansolie**

i left and went to the store right next to the one ur in, meet me outside once ur finished

Surprised, since he didn’t notice him walk out, Joshua shoots him a text right back.

**to: hansolie**

gotcha

After he checks out, Joshua thanks the seemingly exhausted cash register (considering it’s almost 2 a.m.) and leaves. He’s pretty sure they should be on their way to the hotel by now, but Seungcheol won’t mind them being a few minutes late. (He hopes.)

Hansol emerges out of the store—a comic one?—with a wide grin, and that alone makes Joshua’s heart swell. He’s holding a bag, but Joshua can’t tell what’s inside.

He doesn’t have to think for long though, because Hansol exclaims, “I got you something! Well, _ some things_.”

“For real? I got you something too!” Joshua says with excitement. He can’t help but blush again, and he feels like a loser— again.

They start walking back to the hotel, agreeing to show each other what they bought once they’re in their room. The walk is peaceful, since the once-lively city has turned moderately quiet by now.

Every time Joshua looks down, he gets the urge to hold Hansol’s hand, but of course, he doesn’t act on it. 

It’s gotten colder, though, so maybe it wouldn’t be that weird….

No. He’s a coward.

Joshua truly doesn’t understand why he’s so…..anxious about initiating anything with Hansol. He’s _ Joshua _, the cool, collected, sort of narcissist who isn’t really scared of anything. Except going after his crush, of course.

Yeah, that’s why. Joshua Hong has an extremely large crush on Chwe Hansol, and he’s too prideful to face it head-on. If asked, “What’s the worst thing that could happen? He rejects you?” Joshua would answer, “Yes.”

When he looks up again and at Hansol, he feels a pang in his chest that, he realizes, never seems to go away when he’s with the younger. Joshua can’t risk losing this friendship with him. He’s already tried so hard to build it up and keep it stable. He can’t lose it. He can’t lose _ Hansol. _

Once they arrive at the hotel, it’s 2:11a.m. and all of the other boys are in the lobby except for Minghao and Mingyu.

“You’re late,” Seungcheol grumbles, voice tired but not too serious.

“Relax,” Joshua says with an easygoing smile. “Only by a couple of minutes. Besides, you have the missing _ lovebirds _ to worry about.”

The last bit makes Seungcheol crack a small smile and the others laugh. It’s no surprise to them that Minghao and Mingyu are late, and they all know why, too.

Seungcheol checks his phone once more before sighing. “You guys can go up to your rooms, now. I’ll wait for them.”

Soonyoung cheers, earning the group a few questioning looks from people standing nearby. Seungcheol glares at him, causing him to hurriedly take Seokmin and Chan’s hands and run to the elevator, Junhui following.

“You sure you’re alright here by yourself?” Joshua asks, though only out of politeness. He’s _ dying _ to go back to his room with Hansol.

Seungcheol waves him off. “I’m fine. Go, go.”

Joshua tries not to make it too obvious that he’s rushing when he (speed)walks away, but he almost trips over his own feet and when he looks back, Seungcheol is shaking his head and laughing. 

“You good?”

Hansol has a slightly concerned mixed with amused expression, and Joshua would really love it if he could disappear into thin air right now, but he can’t, so he just settles for a pained smile. “Yeah, just tired.”

The elevator ride seems way too long to Joshua, but he knows it’s just him being nervous. For what exactly? He doesn’t know.

After what feels like centuries, the two finally reach their floor and enter their room quietly, not wanting to disturb the members who are sleeping in the rooms next to them.

They both take turns washing up in the bathroom, then once they’ve gotten changed into comfortable clothing, they sit on their respective beds with the bags of things they bought.

“So,” they say at the same time.

Hansol giggles (for the second time that night, and Joshua is seriously so whipped) and sits up a little. “I’ll go first?”

Joshua nods and prepares himself to be touched by whatever Hansol pulls out of the bag. It could be a mug, a shirt, a sticker…. just about anything would make him happy. 

“Close your eyes." 

With his eyes closed, Joshua can feel the item being placed in his lap, and his curiosity rises.

“Okay. Open.”

Joshua slowly opens his eyes and looks down to see three _ Hunter x Hunter _ manga volumes stacked on his lap. His first reaction is to gasp, not predicting something like this at all. His second reaction is to look at Hansol, who’s smiling expectantly. His third reaction is to stand up, walk over to the boy, and pull him into the tightest hug he’s ever given a person.

“I probably should’ve bought more, considering those were only $30 altogether, but—“

“No,” Joshua interrupts. “These are my favorite volumes! They’re amazing. _ You’re _ amazing. Thank you so much, dude.”

In truth, Joshua wants to do so much more to show his gratitude, but he thinks another hug should suffice, so he pulls Hansol in again.

(This time, he takes note of how Hansol’s shoulder is the perfect place to rest his head.)

They sit down again, except now they’re in the same bed, with Joshua’s legs criss-crossed and Hansol’s hanging off the edge. Joshua notices how they’re close enough that his knee is practically on top of Hansol’s thigh, and it makes him shiver.

“My gift is so lame compared to yours, so I am very sorry in advance,” Joshua warns, feeling like a loser for possibly the 50th time that night.

He instructs Hansol to close his eyes and hold his hands out, then gently places the gift there. Once he tells Hansol to look, the younger opens his eyes and attempts to stop himself from laughing at what he sees.

Hansol holds the item up and inspects it. “Socks...with toast on them.”

“Ahem. _ French _ toast,” Joshua clarifies, trying to sound less humiliated than he feels.

There’s a beat of silence, then Hansol just starts cracking up. 

“Hey! Don’t laugh!” Joshua whines, feeling more and more embarrassed as the seconds go by. “I told you it was lame.”

Hansol coughs from laughing so hard, and if Joshua made him this happy just from something so simple, he’d definitely face the humiliation over and over again.

“I love them, I swear, but how did you know that my favorite food is french toast?” Hansol asks, grin still spread across his face.

“I remember you mentioning something about it before,” Joshua says. Then he smirks. “Of course I remember things you tell me, Hansol. Don’t look so surprised! It’s hurting my feelings.”

Hansol takes a second to realize how Joshua’s mocking him from earlier, and he clicks his tongue. “You’re so annoying.”

“And?” Joshua urges him on.

“And thank you so very much for this….awesome gift. You’re the best friend ever.”

Joshua, despite the sarcasm, smiles and high-fives Hansol along with an “Anything for you, man.”

A few seconds pass, and Joshua can’t help but stare at Hansol with adoration and fondness. His face is free of makeup, and his eyes are even more tired than before, but he looks so, _ so _ handsome and Joshua feels like if he doesn’t say _ something _ now, he never will. So he takes a deep breath, and—

“I need to tell you something.”

Hansol catches him by surprise, and Joshua bites his tongue. Maybe that was a sign. This isn’t the right time or place, or…..

No. He needs to do this, and he needs to do it now. 

“Wait. I do too. Can I….go first?” Joshua asks, gulping after.

“Oh, uh….” Hansol stumbles, “Yeah. Yeah, of course.”

Joshua nods and takes a deep breath.

This is it.

_ What’s the worst that could happen? He rejects you? _

_ Yes._

7 years of friendship at risk. No more running away. No more hiding his feelings. No more faking.

“I need you to just….hear me out, okay? Please don’t say anything until I’m finished.”

Hansol nods. “Okay.”

Joshua takes one last good look into Hansol’s eyes, knowing that after this, he might not be able to do so ever again. It hurts, though. He doesn’t want to do anything but this. He wants to fall for Hansol’s eyes over, and over, and over again without the fear of no one catching him in the end.

He slowly takes one of Hansol’s hands into his own, and looks down at them, noticing how they fit perfectly together.

“For years and years, I’ve hidden this part of me,” Joshua starts. “The part that—that wants to do everything with you. I can’t pinpoint exactly when it all started, but you first have to understand that I’ve done everything in my power to try and get rid of whatever this is. For some odd, unknown reason, nothing has worked.” 

Joshua averts his eyes back up at Hansol, whose face is unreadable.

Ignoring the minor pain in his chest, Joshua continues, “Can you blame me? You’re so…..amazing. Everything about you makes my heart flutter, and you don’t even know! And plus, you make me happy all the time. There has never been a time when I was upset with you, which I can’t say for the other members, really.”

Hansol lets out a small chuckle at that, giving Joshua the courage to go on.

“I’m never one to be so shy about my emotions, but with you it’s like….it’s like I feel things I’ve never felt with anyone else. Only you, Hansol.”

Joshua rubs his thumb over Hansol’s hand, then tightens his grip a little. 

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I like you. I like you so much that I don’t know what to do with myself." 

There it is.

It’s out there, and there’s no bringing it back in.

“You—You don’t have to say anything,” Joshua splutters in a panic after Hansol doesn’t respond for a few seconds. “I get it...if you don’t feel the same. Let’s just stay friends! Nothing has to change—“

“Joshua. Shut up.”

Hansol’s sudden reply startles Joshua, but he quickly shuts his mouth and stays still.

The younger begins to move closer to Joshua, leaning in slowly but surely. Joshua gets to look into his eyes once more, and instead of anger or disappointment, they’re filled with hope.

Joshua doesn’t understand what’s going on. Actually, he does. He knows _ exactly _what’s about to happen, but he didn’t expect this, so his heart starts to race and he can feel the hand holding Hansol’s get all sweaty and Jesus Christ. This is happening.

He closes his eyes just in time to feel Hansol’s lips press against his, and similar to a movie, the world seems to stop.

Joshua lets go of Hansol’s hand to cup the side of his face, and it’s only for a second that they pull away until their lips meet once again. Hansol sighs into the kiss, and it sends tingles down Joshua’s spine that he’s never felt before, and he decides that yeah, he doesn’t ever want to do this with anyone else.

They kiss until they’re out of breath, and when they pull away, Hansol’s cheeks are tinted pink, while Joshua can feel his own burning.

“I like you,” Hansol confesses. “I really, really, really do.”

“That’s it?” Joshua asks. 

Hansol laughs. “Was that kiss not enough for you?”

Joshua hits him, then his mouth forms a small smile. “No. It was enough. More than enough." 

“Good,” Hansol says. He intertwines their hands again and squeezes Joshua’s. “I promise you I feel the exact same way. Everything you said was an accurate description of my own feelings.”

This makes Joshua smile even wider, and Hansol mirrors his expression. He looks so bright, even though the hotel room light is a little dull. 

Joshua likes him _ so _much.

He leans forward once more, and when he presses his lips against Hansol’s, it still feels like the first time. His fingers curl into the younger’s hair, and when he gives it a little tug, Hansol makes a sort of strangled noise that Joshua swallows down, and everything just feels so _ right_.

They pull away, chests heaving and faces flushed. They don’t know what time it is, but the pair silently agree to go to bed. Joshua puts their gifts on the bedside table and lays down, Hansol plopping down right next to him. 

As if they’ve done this a million times before (which they haven’t), they settle into each other, Joshua’s arms securely finding their way around Hansol’s waist.

Hansol turns off the lamp, and when he presses his back against Joshua’s chest, the older truly wonders what took him this long. He’s missed out on so many kisses, cuddles, dates…..

He’s going to make up for all the time lost. And tonight, he starts by pulling Hansol closer and pressing a kiss to the back of his head.

**Author's Note:**

> hi :D  
haven't written in like 8 months, so this was sort of rough :/
> 
> please feel free to leave kudos and comments! thank you again and again!
> 
> twitter: @chanakgae  



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